


On Air

by inkahgase



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe, Break Up, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Rocker, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2020-12-28 15:36:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21139052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkahgase/pseuds/inkahgase
Summary: A story about a boy and his guitar





	1. Track #1 Enchanted [M]

Mark sits at the counter, watching the whiskey in his glass swirl around. He knew he shouldn’t be drinking considering he is playing a gig tonight but his sensibility flew out the window as soon as he spotted his ex-girlfriend from three months ago, enter the pub.

The same conniving ex-girlfriend who didn’t support his pursuit of music. The same ex-girlfriend who broke up with him and told him that he wouldn’t amount to anything. The same ex-girlfriend who had been to his shows every single week with her new boy toy, just to spite him.

He scoffs and downs the rest of his drink before asking the bartender for another.

“No, can do man,” Yugyeom tells him. “Jackson’s cut you off until the gig is finished.”

“Listen,” Mark practically pleads. “I am too sober to play these love songs with that bitch in the crowd. Just one more, _please_?”

Understanding his friend’s predicament, Yugyeom sighs before pouring him another glass. “Don’t tell Jackson,” he warns. “And take it to the back with you. The show starts in five minutes.”

Smiling as Yugyeom hands him the glass, Mark thanks him before swivelling out of his chair to head to the dressing room. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been aware of his surroundings, bumping into you as he stands, sloshing his and your drink down the front of your top.

Staring at your top, he is livid that his drink is now on you and not in his glass. He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself down but you are the last straw and he loses it. Well, that is until he looks up at your beautiful face, with your doe eyes and adorable pouty lips.

Just one look at you and Mark forgets everything that had been worrying him. He’s sure he’s forgotten his own name. Your beauty completely swept away everything he has ever known about anything, leaving his mind completely blank.

You clear your throat, trying to garner the attention of the guy whose drink you’re now wearing. Staring at you instead of helping, you roll your eyes and ask him for some napkins as gently as you could.

“Oh my God,” Mark says, finally snapping out of the trance you’ve put on him and turning to reach over the counter for some napkins to hand to you. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“That’s okay,” you sigh as you accept the napkins from him. “To be honest, I wasn’t looking where I was going either. So, this is probably more my fault than yours. That’s why my top is ruined while yours is completely dry.”

“Well, this would be the best thing to happen to me in weeks,” Mark laughs dryly but shuts up when you raise your brow at him. You shove the napkins back to him, muttering about going back home to get changed and missing half of the show. He comes up with a brilliant plan to solve his problems.

Grabbing your hand, he leads you through the crowd and towards the general area of the dressing rooms. Mark doesn’t realise that this is an unusual behaviour so you pull your hand back and halt him in his tracks. “Where are you taking me?”

“I am so sorry,” Mark blushes after realising his mistake. “I have an extra shirt in my bag because I— umm, I work here. I was going to offer it to you to wear so that you don’t have to miss the show, because it would be a damn shame if you did.”

You’re skeptical about the offer and he can see that. He couldn’t blame you after all, not after the way he’d behaved. Offering another solution, he informs you that he would go and grab his shirt and meet you at the bar, which you accept.

Mark comes back and hands you a black, long sleeve polo shirt that’s littered with white stars. “I’m sorry, this is all I have.”

You smile at him as you reach for the shirt, “this is perfect.”

After handing him your purse and turning towards the counter, you put on his shirt. You do all the buttons sans the first two, before pulling your arms out of the sleeves again. You see Mark raise his brow curiously and you bite your bottom lip as you quickly shrug out of your ruined top, pulling it out through the top and placing it on the counter.

Shoving your arms back in, you then grab the hem of his shirt and tuck it into your jeans. Turning back to him, you reach out for your purse and sling it back on your shoulder. “Thanks,” you smirk at him.

Mark smiles, wanting to keep talking to you but Yugyeom interrupts to inform him that he needs to get to work. You excuse yourself before heading over to where your friends are waiting.

“Give her a drink,” Mark instructs Yugyeom before leaving. “I spilt hers. Tell her to wait for me at the bar.”

Reaching your friends who throw quizzical looks at the new shirt you’re sporting, you promise to tell them the story once the band finishes playing. That is why you’re all here in the pub in the first place since the lead singer is your friend Aia’s new boyfriend. Jaebeom is a sweet guy and you couldn’t wait to show him your support.

Just as Jackson — the owner of the pub and your next door neighbour — introduces the band, someone taps you on the shoulder. You recognise the man standing there as the bartender and he hands you a drink. Telling him you didn’t order one, he merely states that it’s courtesy of the guitarist who requests that you meet him at the bar after the show. Now you really have to pay attention.

The band members go on stage with their backs to the crowd as they make their way to their positions and their instruments. You keep your eyes trained on the elegant white electric guitar and spot the member reach for it and sling the strap over his head. Sipping your drink as the moment of truth arrives, you almost choke when the man reveals himself.

The guitarist is none other than the guy who owns the shirt that you’re currently wearing. The band introduces themselves one by one and you find out his name. _Mark_.

Mark winks at you and none of your friends miss it, throwing more questioning looks your way — and suddenly, the night just got a little bit more interesting.

So interesting, that you find your lips attached to his, hands roaming your body leaving no skin untouched as you both cross the threshold of your apartment. Pulling away for air, you walk backwards into your home, trying to get a good look at him.

Mark’s breath is ragged, running his hands through his tousled hair as he wonders how he got so lucky that you are the one that he bumped into tonight out of all the women in the pub. The way you approached him tonight after his set had him reeling, not quite believing how well you both hit it off. He can’t believe that he’s here and that you’re real.

“You’re so fucking _beautiful_,” Mark declares breathily before walking over to you, placing his hands on your hips as he backs you into the nearest wall. Running your hands up his torso, you settle them around his neck and pull him in for a searing kiss.

Mark groans, shoving you hard against the wall and you moan. Using this opportunity to shove his tongue in your mouth, he lodges his leg in between yours, sliding up to press against your core; the feeling of your panties and the denim from the material of both of your jeans rubbing deliciously against it.

Gasping for air, he kisses down your chin, gliding his lips along your jaw and further down where your neck meets your shoulder. “My shirt looks so fucking good on you,” he breathes against your skin before lavishing it with his tongue. “But, I bet it would look better off of you.”

Your smart retort finds itself stuck in your throat when Mark begins to suck on your skin. You moan again and it goes straight to his dick; Mark’s so close to losing his will to be patient. Lifting his hands to unbutton your shirt, you swirl your hips against his kneecap for more friction. Growling at you actions, he loses his patience and rips his shirt off of you, buttons flying everywhere and landing on the floor — your bra following soon after.

Arching your back to press your chest further into his palms, you cup his face that’s ready to descend on them and pull it up to face you. “Take me to bed,” you command him before crashing your lips into his.

Grabbing you behind your legs, Mark lifts you into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. You pull away momentarily to point him towards your bedroom before you descend down his neck, marking him everywhere your mouth can reach.

“Is it weird to you how right this feels?” Mark practically moans out as he shuts the door of your room and push you up against it. “We’ve just met but this feels… _real_.”

“Definitely unusual but not weird,” you answer, detaching yourself from his neck, your hands caressing the hair by his nape. “Most definitely real. I almost can’t believe it.”

Mark tosses you on the bed and you land in a fit of giggles, only stopping when you notice the hungry look in his eyes. Scooting nervously away, you don’t get very far when he catches your ankle and uses it to pull you back towards him.

Hovering over you, he gently caresses your cheek, a stark contrast to the way his hips are grinding against your core. “Are you sure about this?” Mark asks gently, the softness of his gaze surprising you. “I don’t want you to do anything—”

Cupping his face, you bring him for a languid kiss that soon turns rougher and hungrier. You pull away quickly, moaning out a breathy _yes_ to his question. Mark curses before he hastily pulls off all the clothing left on your bodies, before diving over you to connect your lips again.

“I hope you’re ready,” he whispers against your ear, before he licks the shell of it. “Because you’re in for a long night.”


	2. Track #2 The Beautiful Letdown

Sitting down in the fancy restaurant that Mark booked, you looked around at the loved up couples sitting around you. Smiling at their happiness, you hoped to join them soon. Sighing, you looked back to the empty seat in front of you.

_Relax, you’re fifteen minutes early. He will come_. So you told yourself. You tried not to look at your watch, knowing it would run longer the more you stared at it. It wasn’t doing anything to calm your nerves.

“Would you like a drink as you wait, Miss?” the waiter garnered your attention from the window.

“A glass of your Moscato, please,” you smiled at him and turned your eyes back to the window, waiting for a familiar figure to arrive.

The waiter came back fifteen minutes later, pouring you a glass before leaving the bottle in the ice bucket. “Will your companion be arriving soon or should I take your entree order whilst you wait?”

“He’ll be here soon,” you informed him and he bowed before heading back to the kitchens. “I hope.”

Taking the glass of Moscato in your hands, you sighed again before sculling the drink and grabbing the bottle to pour yourself another.

_He’s just a little bit late. He will be here. He has to come._

Watching the bubbles pop inside your glass, you sat there and reminisced about your relationship with Mark and where it had all gone wrong.

* * *

Six months ago, the whirlwind romance between you and Mark began. You couldn’t get your hands off of each other for many more nights since the first and you found yourselves moving in together after three months.

Another month later had you saying _’I love you_’, much to Mark’s surprise — especially since he had wanted to do it first. He’d written a song about you that was supposed to be played at his stage that week. He accepted your love nonetheless and made sure to show you his in return.

Everything happened so fast and everyone around you was worried. But this was young love, there wasn’t anything anyone could do to slow it in its tracks. Neither of you had any care in the world. You both felt _invincible._

Mark had been worried at first as he’d just gotten out of a long term relationship with someone who had never supported him in his dream. You were her complete opposite; caring, loving and understanding. Yet he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that maybe you would turn out like her, too.

Luckily, you understood where he was coming from and had been very patient with him. Week by week, you proved to him how much you supported him. Showing up to his shows to cheer him on, helping him write lyrics when he was stuck and providing feedback every time he needed it.

Mark finally realised that you were being sincere and that you were in fact _real,_ so he became his complete self and let you in. He allowed himself to love you and to let you love him, flaws and all. Everything was perfect.

Until reality hit.

Mark might be living his dream, but it didn’t pay the bills. No matter how many shows his band did during the week, the payload wasn’t massive because they weren’t stars. _Yet_. The little money they got they split between them and Mark used his to mostly cover the studio that he rented where he did his writing.

You knew this coming into the relationship, so you hadn’t minded. You could tell how talented they were and that it wouldn’t be much longer until they got signed, so you told him that you were prepared to make some sacrifices to help him through this. You did love him after all.

That’s how you found yourself working two jobs just to make ends meet. You worked as a waitress during the day and worked most nights at Jackson’s bar. You spent the majority of your days working but you were lucky to have a couple of nights off which you wanted to use to spend time with your boyfriend.

Unfortunately, that almost always never happened. Mark was always spending his time in the studio trying to create melodies and trying to write songs. He spent most of his time in there, barely leaving to even come home to the apartment that you shared.

Whether it was a home cooked dinner at home, a night at the movies, a picnic at the park or a dinner in a restaurant, he missed them. Mark would tell you that he was so excited and that he would be there, but he missed them. He would tell you how he much he missed you and how sorry he was and yet he missed them.

At times you got a text to say that he was sorry he couldn’t make it, because inspiration came knocking on his door. A phone call if you’re lucky and sometimes even a bouquet waiting for you when you got home. But most of the time the only thing that ever met you was silence.

You’d even tried to seduce him to come home one time, sending him a picture of you in nothing but his shirt that he lent you that fateful night that you met. You waited by your phone, waiting for a sign that he’d seen your message. It was only when you were already in your pajamas and well tucked into bed when he replied, expressing more apologies.

But this morning, things were different, or so you hoped. He’d come home just before you were on your way out.

“Listen, you’ve got the night off tonight,” Mark smiled after he pecked you on the cheek. You were about to protest when he added, “I spoke with Jackson, don’t worry. I reserved us a table at the joint you always talk about for dinner.”

“What’s the occasion?” you asked to test him. You knew that today was your six month anniversary, you just wanted to make sure that he remembered.

Mark approached and grabbed you by the hips, “You didn’t think I forgot did you? It’s been six months since you walked into my life and made it all better. I wanted to celebrate it.”

Your heart warmed at the sentiment. You wanted to be mad at him but can’t get yourself to do it when you saw that he was at least trying. “Of course, I knew you wouldn’t forget. I just thought you’d be busy tonight that’s all.”

“Not tonight,” Mark brought you closer and molded his lips to yours. “I’m all yours. I’ll meet you there at 7pm okay?”

“Okay.”

* * *

As Jaebeom approached the studio, he caught the light that sneaked through the tiny gap between the door and the floor. This was a strange sight considering he didn’t think anyone would be using it tonight.

BamBam and Youngjae were studying for their finals while Jinyoung was out of town with his fiancée Nelyn. Yugyeom and Jackson were working with the help of Karol tonight because you were having your anniversary dinner with Mark so— _shit, it was Mark_.

Cursing at his realisation, he scrambled to unlock the door and prayed that he didn’t find the guitarist there. For once, he wished that he was right.

Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be tonight. Jaebeom finally opened the door to find the elder with his headphones around his head as he played the guitar.

“Jesus, fuck,” Mark yelled and pushed back as Jaebeom snatched the headphones off of him. “What’s wrong with you, man?”

“Are you kidding me?” Jaebeom asked in disbelief. “What’s wrong with _you?_ You’re not supposed to be here.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You were supposed to be at Lusso’s,” Jaebeom checked his watch before he continued. “Two hours ago!”

Mark stared at his friend confused. He knew that he was supposed to meet you there tonight. Checking his watch, he showed Jaebeom that it was only six pm. “I don’t have to be there for another hour.”

Jaebeom rubbed his face in exasperation. “I’ve been telling you to get that watch replaced for weeks because it’s broken,” he reminded Mark before walking over to the blinds and opening them, showing the darkness of the night through the window.

Mark gulped before standing up slowly, “What time is it?”

“It’s nine—”

“Shit!” Mark cursed before he grabbed his keys and jetted out of the studio. Jumping in his car, he dialed your number and put it on loudspeaker so he could drive and talk to you at the same time.

Each call he made rang out and reached your voicemail. _Come on, baby. Pick up. I’m almost there._ Mark got desperate and decided to run a few lights, not caring about the fines he’d be receiving in the mail. He only cared about you.

* * *

Seeing your phone continuously light up meant only one thing. It meant that Mark had realised what happened and that he was on his way to the restaurant. Unlucky for him, you left about fifteen minutes ago, so you wouldn’t be there when he finally arrived.

The waiter had taken pity on you and allowed you to stay as long as you wanted. You promised yourself you wouldn’t even give him half an hour but your kindness had won out. After two hours though, you couldn’t do it anymore so you left.

With alcohol coursing through your veins, you felt the courage that you needed to pick up the call and finally gave him a piece of your mind. “What?!” you answered, not bothering with pleasantries.

Mark flinched at your tone but trudged on, “Baby, where are you? I’m here at the restaurant and they said you left—”

You scoffed, “Of course I did! Did you expect me to wait longer than I have already?”

“Of course not,” Mark tried to answer calmly but the panic was evident in his voice. “I can explain—”

“Let me guess,” you sneered. “A burst of inspiration consumed you again—”

“No, that’s not—”

“So you just couldn’t put your guitar down—”

“That’s not what happened—”

“And you lost track of time like you always do—”

“Will you let me explain?” Mark asked loudly, almost yelling to get your attention.

“Is it something I haven’t heard of before?”

Mark ignored your retort and explained anyway. “My watch is broken,” he said and you laughed hysterically. “I was all dressed and ready to go but I didn’t realise the time—”

“You didn’t see my calls to your phone?” you asked incredulously.

“No, it was—”

“What made you finally look at your watch then?” you asked. “How did you finally realise that you’ve stood me up again?”

Mark sighed knowing there was no way out. He knew he was definitely in trouble tonight. “Jaebeom told me—”

You stopped walking as the answer leaves his mouth. “So, if he hadn’t told you, you probably wouldn’t have ever known?”

“That’s not true—”

“Yes it is,” you counter. “You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. Do me a favour, Mark. Don’t come home tonight. Stay at the studio. I don’t want to see you.”

“No, babe—”

“Happy fucking six months, you absolute prick,” you say before ending the call and switching your phone off.


	3. Track #3 The Muse

Mark woke up as the sunlight peeked through the curtains and warmed his back. Still too tired to open his eyes, he stretched his arm out to your side of the bed only to find the cold sheets. Turning his head to have a look, he confirmed that your side was definitely cold and empty.

Worry filled him as he wondered where you would be. He knew he royally fucked up last night but after hours of screaming, crying and making love with each other, he thought he would wake to you right next to him like you promised.

Not that he had any right to complain about broken promises considering the amount that he had broken, but he really thought that you would give him another chance after the heavy discussion last night. He promised to try harder for you because he loved you and didn’t want to lose you, but he couldn’t do that if you won’t let him.

Mark pushed off of the bed to try and search for you. He was just about to pull the blanket off of him when the bedroom door opened and you walked in wearing nothing but his shirt. The relief that washed over him was immediate but he couldn’t get himself to enjoy the view just yet, “I thought you left me,” he whispered out.

“I almost did,” you reminded him gently before closing the distance between your bodies and joining him back on the bed.

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his lap, almost afraid that you’d disappear right in front of his eyes. “Thank you,” he breathed out before kissing you languidly. “For giving me another chance.”

Smiling, you nudged your nose against his and whispered, “I love you and I will always give you another chance. Don’t make me regret it.”

Cupping your face in his hands, Mark looked at you determinedly and declared, “I almost lost you last night and I would never forget how that felt. I don’t want to ever go through that or put you through that again. I love you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Mark confirmed, sealing his vow with a searing kiss before spending the rest of the morning tangled with you underneath the sheets.

* * *

Mark woke up for the second time today, still wrapped in your arms. Studying your soft features, hair spread all over your face and your lips parted, he knew that this was the view he wanted to wake up to every morning.

Reaching for your cheek, he rubbed his thumb on your skin as endless thoughts ran through his mind. You deserved so much and he wanted to be able to give that to you, that was why he had been working so hard. He wanted to show you that your sacrifice had not been for nothing and that if they were ever to become successful, it would be because of you.

But, everything that he thought he’d been doing for you almost became the undoing of your relationship. The heartbreak he felt last night was not exaggerated and he knew that he needed to make changes so that he wouldn’t disappoint you again.

Gently unwrapping himself from you as not to rouse you, he got up and reached for his phone on the way to the living room. Browsing through his contacts, he dialed Jaebeom’s number to let him know of his decision.

“Tell me that you got your shit together,” Jaebeom answered, not bothering with pleasantries.

Mark chuckled but there’s no trace of humour from the sound. “I’m trying,” he sighed. “But I’m gonna need your help.”

“Are you quitting the band?” Jaebeom asked nervously and Mark declined.

“I’m not quitting but it can’t be my first priority anymore,” Mark explained with a sigh. “I came so close to losing her last night, Jaebeom. I don’t want to put her through that again. I don’t want for that to happen again.”

Jaebeom agreed, “I’m glad you’ve finally realised it. Don’t worry about the band. The rest of us are writing songs, too. It will all be fine.”

“I know. I just… I want to show her it’s not all for nothing, you know?”

“I know,” Jaebeom assured him. “I know better than anyone. Our day will come, I’m sure of it. So, let’s focus on the other important things in our life.”

Mark hummed in agreement before hanging up the phone. Relaxing his body on the couch, he looked heavenward in prayer. He really hoped that everything would turn out okay.

“Everything okay?” you asked as you walked over to him, dressed like before, nothing but his shirt.

“You really need to put more clothes on,” he chuckled as you straddled his lap. “We’d never get out of the house otherwise.”

“What’s wrong with staying in?” your voice was full of innocence but the way your fingers trailed up and down his toned torso proved otherwise.

Halting your hands, he brought them up, brushing his lips against your knuckles. “If we stay in, you won’t be able to eat all the hotdogs that your stomach can muster or ride the ferris wheel as you watch the sun set or—”

“We’re going to the amusement park?” eyes wide and mouth hanging open, Mark laughed heartily — a sound you’ve missed — and he reached up to close your mouth.

“Yes, we’re going to the amusement park.”

You squealed in excitement, peppering Mark’s face with kisses before dragging him to the bathroom to get ready.

* * *

Mark watched you stare in wonder at the sunset, the golden hue surrounding you. You were glowing. Glowing with happiness. Glowing with love. You turned to smile at him and he knew that it could only go onward and upward from there.


	4. Track #4 The Choice

**[12:00] garage band king:** we need to talk

It had been hours since you received this text message from Mark and then nothing and it was driving you insane. He couldn’t have picked a worse time to send it — it was your day off — and you had nothing to busy yourself with. Some would argue that you could have just asked him what it was about to put yourself out of your misery but things had been going so well the past few months since the _incident_ and you didn’t want to rock the boat if this turned out to be nothing.

Ultimately, you went for it.

**[14:00] punk rock princess:** is everything okay?

Another few hours later and you were still staring at your phone, waiting for it to come alive with a message from Mark. You should’ve known that he wouldn’t reply but you didn’t stop yourself from hoping. Just as you were about to reach out for your phone to call him, Mark burst through the apartment, phone stuck between his neck and shoulder in deep conversation while he carried his guitar and grocery bags.

“There is nothing to think about Jaebeom,” he said exasperated, kicking the door shut with his foot before trudging off to where you were seated on the couch. Placing his guitar case and the grocery bags by the coffee table, he crashed on the couch next to you before placing his head on your lap.

Threading your fingers through his hair and massaging his scalp, you felt his free hand wrap behind your middle, holding you tight, like he was afraid that you would leave. “What’s going on?” you whispered to him when he looked at you but he just shook his head before looking away and going back to his conversation.

“I know that this is what we’ve been waiting for but I’m not willing to put her through that. My answer is no. You can find yourself a new guitarist.” Mark said with finality before hanging up the phone.

“You’re quitting the band?” you asked quietly in shock but he heard you.

He wasn't ready to have this conversation knowing you would side with Jaebeom so he stood up and headed to the kitchen.

You followed him and asked, “what’s going on?”

He sighed knowing there was no way out. “Somebody came by Jackson’s bar today and offered to sign the band.”

You gasped in excitement and you were about to jump in his arms to congratulate him when you remembered his conversation with Jaebeom. “Wait… you got signed and you’re quitting? This is your dream and you’ve been working so hard for it, why won’t you accept it?”

Mark shook his head, not wanting to talk about it and tried to escape to the lounge room but you followed him again, remembering the other parts of his conversation.

“Does this have something to do with me?” you asked nervously. “You said you weren’t willing to put me through it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he pleaded with you through his eyes.

“You said you wanted to talk. Tell me what’s going on.”

“No.”

“Tell. Me.”

“I can’t—”

“Tell me or I’m calling Jaebeom and he can—”

“I have to keep you a secret,” he yelled out, effectively stopping you in your tracks. He didn’t want to have this conversation now but he knew you’d rather hear it from him than Jaebeom.

“What?” you asked confused and he grabbed your hand to sit you down by the couch. Kneeling in front of you, he intertwined your fingers together before looking up at you with tears pricking his eyes.

He told you everything from the beginning. How there was a scout during their last show and that he’d asked Jaebeom for a demo. They didn’t get their hopes up as this was a regular occurrence only to be met with silence. But this morning, the scout dropped by the bar when they were rehearsing and presented them with the news.

It should’ve been the best day of his life — he finally achieved his dream and he could finally repay you for everything you’ve done for him — and it was, until the scout gave them a condition. The guy knew that he and Jaebeom had significant others and whilst he didn’t care about it, the label bosses did.

“I have to pretend like you didn’t exist,” Mark sobbed out, eyes glued to your intertwined hands. “They said we would get more fans if we didn’t have girlfriends. He knew that Jae and I would never break up with you and Aia so this was their solution.”

You sat there watching Mark breakdown in front of you, as you felt your heart break inside. You were supposed to be happy, that he would choose you over this offer but you couldn't accept that the reason his dream got crushed was because of you. You worked so hard to help him achieve it and supported him through it; you wouldn’t be the one to hold him back from it.

“Accept the offer,” you told him as you cupped his cheeks, making him look at you. He was about to protest but you shook your head. “Aia accepted it and so can I. This is your dream, I won’t hold you back from it.”

“This is just a dream,” Mark countered. “You are my life. I’m not losing you because of it.”

“You won’t,” you assured him. “We will get through this like we got through our last hurdle.”

You kissed him. Like your life depended on it. He called Jaebeom, telling him that he changed his mind. He kissed you and after hours of tangled limbs and messy love making, he held you close to his chest, whispering promises of his love against your temple.

You kissed him, again. Like it was the last kiss you would ever share with him. Praying to all the gods that it wouldn’t be, even though you knew it was inevitable.

After all, fate was a cruel mistress.


	5. Track #5 I Miss You [M]

You sat at your usual spot on the bar, your third wine glass in hand. Mark hadn’t even stepped on the stage yet and your anxiety was already through the roof. This was the fifth show in a row that you attended since the band released their first single. You thought it would get easier for you as you attended each show but you were wrong — it only got worse.

As soon as Mark got on that stage he was no longer your boyfriend. He was no longer the man that you loved. He became the unattainable star who only had eyes and love for his fans. He didn’t spare you any glances — he couldn’t afford to — and didn’t dedicate any of your songs to you, like he used to.

You didn’t know how much more of this you could take. Three times you almost stood up and left and it was like he always knew because that was when he would finally look your way and give you that loving glance even for just a flicker of a second. That was all it took and you sat down before he even looked away.

This was your decision, which meant that this was your sacrifice. You were the one who told him that you could get through this. You were the one who said you could accept this. You could only blame yourself for this.

As they finished their set and headed towards the dressing room, you chugged down the remainder of your wine and grasped Aia’s waiting hand, heading to the dressing room yourselves.

* * *

You stood and waited back with the stylists who threw you sympathetic looks. They all knew who the two of you were and pitied the situation that you were both in. You could only sigh as you sat yourself down on the couch.

“How can you stand them?” Aia asked you incredulously. “I want to go over there and rip all of their hands off. How dare they touch Jaebeom? How can you let them touch Mark?”

You smiled sadly before pointing out the obvious. “This is what we decided, Aia. We can’t back out of it now. They’re living their dream because of us. Besides, I trust Mark and I’m sure you trust Jaebeom. Look, they keep moving the girls’ hands back. Mark won’t even let them touch him.”

It’s true, Mark swiftly maneuvered himself away each time a girl’s hand was about to touch him. He flashed them all a smile before heading over to the dressing room, with Jaebeom and the boys following swiftly behind him and shutting the door.

Mark breathed a sigh of relief before closing the distance between you and enclosing you in his arms. “You’re still here,” he whispered in your neck, like he did every night since this started.

“I will always be here,” you whispered back, wrapping your arms behind him. “You already know that.”

“I know, but it’s hard to believe anyway. I’m sure this isn’t easy for you.”

“It’s the same with you, but we’ll be okay.”

He pulled away before dragging you back to the couch with him. “We have to go to an after party tonight. Boss’ orders apparently. Come with me?”

You declined, “You know I have a shift early in the morning.”

“I’m doing this so you don’t have to work anymore—”

“No, you’re doing this because it’s your dream,” you countered. “I still have to work. Plus, you know it’s not my scene anyway.”

“You don’t want to be there to fight off all the girls?” he teased.

“You’re doing it fine on your own. I trust you.”

Mark smiled before leaning in to kiss you. “Maybe I’ll just go home. I’d rather spend my night with you.”

“While that sounds tempting, you need to go to the party. Boss’ orders.”

“One day, I won’t have a boss anymore,” Mark promised. “And I’m gonna show everyone how much I love you.”

You smiled, wishing you could believe him. “I can’t wait for that day to come.”

* * *

It was barely an hour since you’ve fallen asleep when you felt the bed dip and Mark woke you by nuzzling his face into your neck.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, back flushed against his chest, neck leaning back to give him better access.

“I live here,” Mark deadpanned and you snorted. “Plus, I’ve made my appearance so I’ve done my job.”

“You’re going to get in trouble,” you scolded him but there was no bite to it, your breath hitching as his hands palmed your stomach. Your shirt — his shirt, actually — must’ve ridden up in your sleep.

“The only one getting in trouble here is you,” Mark growled in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “Why are you not wearing anything underneath this? Not even panties?”

“I wanted to show you what you’ve been missing out on,” you teased him and he pinched your right ass cheek.

“What if it was a robber that came home instead of me?”

“Then, Mr. Thief would have a great view—”

“That’s it,” Mark landed a smack on your ass before flipping you on your back and situating himself between your legs, his face looking directly at your already sopping cunt. “You think you’re good enough to out tease me? We’ll see about that.”

You were always in for a treat every time Mark went down on you. He always seemed to have a new trick up his sleeve. He’d once told you that he used to rap back during his school days and you would laugh until his tongue showed you just how he skilled he was. Now, it was his favourite form of punishment.

Normally, you would hate to be punished like this. You’d really rather be spanked than be denied your release over and over again especially since you missed Mark and the way he would make love to you. But you took what you could get, especially if this was the only way he could make it up to you for now.

As the fifth denial came and you broke, crying out in need for him, Mark finally obliged you. Entering you in haste, needing you as much as you needed him. Mark professed his love for you at each kiss on your skin, making up for all the times that he had to stop saying them out loud. You returned the favour, marking his skin with your forgiveness.

He kept his body pressed against yours, as close to you as he could muster as he drove his hips against yours. You screamed your love for each other as you came at the same time, reminding the world of who you belonged to. _If only for tonight._


	6. Track #6 Hush

You and Mark had the night off for the first time in a long time and he organised to take you out for dinner. You had a day shift at Jackson’s bar so he would spend the day at the studio and meet you at the restaurant. Once your shift ended, you went to the back and got dressed up. You were about to head out when a couple of familiar figures halted you in your tracks. Mark’s label bosses. _What were they doing here?_

“Mark’s not here,” you informed them, confused as to why they’ve come to the bar instead of just calling him if they needed him.

“That’s good,” one of them sneered. “We’re not here to see him. We’re here to see _you_.”

“What do you want?”

* * *

You were sitting on the couch in the dressing room, thinking of your next move, when the door burst open to reveal your very angry boyfriend.

“Mark? Are you okay?” you asked. “I thought we were meeting at the restaurant?”

“I should be asking you that,” he bristled as he sat next to you, grasping your hand in his. “Jackson called me and told me they were here.”

“I’m gonna kill him. I told him I could handle it.”

“What did they want?” Mark asked and you shook your head. “Tell me what they wanted, please.”

You grabbed his hand, bringing it up to your lips to kiss the back of it. “Nothing worth ruining our date over.”

Mark sighed knowing that you were right. “Fine. Afterwards?”

You nodded. “Afterwards.”

* * *

It was almost midnight when you finally came back into your home, sighing as you removed your heels before sinking into your couch. Just as Mark was about to join you, you got up and headed to the kitchen to grab yourself some water. Mark knew this tactic quite well considering he’d used it on you plenty of times but just like you did with him, he wasn't going to let you get away with it.

Mark followed you into the kitchen, grabbing the now empty glass from you and placing it on the counter. “Please, talk to me,” he pleaded, reaching out for your hands to intertwine with his. “What did they want with you?”

“They think I’ve been stopping you from doing your appearances,” you blurted out and he stiffened. “Why haven’t you told me this? Hell, why haven’t you been attending them?”

Mark sighed before turning away from you and leaning on the counter. “I hate going to those places, you know that,” he explained. “I’d rather be here with you. I already have to give up so much of us because of this job. I don’t want to completely lose you.”

“I already told you that you won’t lose me,” you assured Mark, wrapping your arms behind him and setting your chin on his shoulders.

“You say that and yet I feel like the distance between us is starting to grow. The band is getting bigger, and while I should be happy about that, there’s been talks about going on tour which means I’ll be apart from you for longer periods of time and I just—”

“Shh baby, it’s okay,” you coaxed him to relax by hugging him tighter. “This is part of your job, baby. We knew it from the start. You need to do as they say or you’ll get in trouble.”

Mark turned around in your hold and cupped your face in his hands. “I don’t care about that shit. I only care about you. You and me. Us. Don’t worry about this. I will figure it out.”

“Mark..”

“Please, baby. Trust me on this,” he pleaded with a kiss on your temple. “I will sort this out. Leave it to me.”

“Okay.”

* * *

It was three weeks later when you received another visit, but this time it was from Jaebeom.

“Where’s Mark?” you asked as you led him into the dressing room backstage.

“At the studio,” Jaebeom sighed as he plopped down on the couch, patting the spot next to him for you to join him. “He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Why are you here?” you asked after joining him.

“I’m here because I’ve just spent half the day at the company holding an audition for a new guitarist,” Jaebeom explained and watched your heart shatter at each word that came out of his mouth. “A new guitarist that I didn’t even know the band needed. Do you know anything about this?”

Panic started to set in and suddenly you were finding it hard to breathe. You closed your eyes, willing this all to be a nightmare that you would wake up from but as you felt Jaebeom grab your hand to try and calm your breathing, you knew that this was anything but. Opening your eyes, you took a deep breath and told him about the visit that you received from the company.

“Are they firing him?” you asked helplessly once you’ve told Jaebeom everything.

Jaebeom sighed, feeling the exact same way as you. “Not yet, but I think this might be their way of sending their last warning.”

“I knew something was up with him,” you shook your head. “Since that night, he’s looked a lot more stressed and exhausted. He told me he would figure it out.”

“You need to talk to him,” Jaebeom pleaded but you just shook your head again.

“I’ve already tried that,” you sighed before standing up. “There’s only one way to fix this now.”

What you said didn’t sit well with Jaebeom but by the time he figured out what your words meant, you were already out of the bar and on the way home.

* * *

Mark knew that something was wrong as soon as he stepped into your home. It was already well past midnight and you should be asleep, yet all the lights were turned on. It was a good thing that the lights were on because that way, Mark didn’t miss the suitcases that were lined up in the hallway.

Mark walked slowly to where the suitcases were, one hand tentatively reaching out for one of the handles. He took a deep breath before lifting it off the ground and he realised that there were definitely things in there because of how heavy they were.

He placed the bag back down, heart thundering in his chest at the thought of you leaving him. Surely, he was mistaken. There was no way you would leave him. He hadn’t done anything to garner it.

Mark turned to the direction of your bedroom, only to see you standing by the doorway, another bag clutched in your hand. “Baby, what’s—”

Mark didn’t even finish his question before you uttered the three words that would surely break his heart.

“I’m leaving you.”


	7. Track #7 Happier [M]

Mark stood there in shock, his heart breaking into pieces at the words that you blurted out. You almost wanted to run up and hug him but your resolve to leave was much stronger. You reminded yourself that you needed to do this. _For him_.

“Why?” he asked, barely in a whisper, but you heard him nonetheless.

“I can’t be in the way of your dream anymore,” you replied simply.

“But you’re not—”

“Yes, I am,” you countered. “You are such a talented musician, Mark. This was always in the cards for you and I came along and ruined it.”

“What are you talking about baby?” Mark rushed to you, cupping your face in his hands. “You’re not ruining anything. None of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you—”

You shook your head at him. “I am just in the way, Mark. You wouldn’t have all these issues with making appearances and interacting more with your fans if it wasn’t for me.”

“None of that shit matters to me, you already know—”

“But it matters to your bosses and to your fans!” you moved your hands away from him and headed over to your luggage but he stood in front of you to block your path. “It matters to the band,” you said without looking at him.

“I will figure it—”

“No, Mark,” you said firmly. “You said that last time and things got worse. There is no figuring this out. I have already decided for us.”

“Don’t you love—”

“Don’t even go there,’ you warned him. “I’m doing this because I love you. I love you so much that I am willing to put everything on the line for you to achieve your dream. I will be here, waiting for you. When everything is done, we can go back to this.”

“Will you let me speak?” Mark asked exasperated, tired of you interrupting him. “Does what I say not matter to you?”

“Of course it does,” you replied. “But if I let you speak then I know you’re going to win and I can’t do that.”

Mark saw his opening and took it. “Fine,” he said before grabbing you by the waist and shoving you into the nearest wall. “If you’re not gonna let me tell you why this is a mistake and why you should stay, then I’m gonna show you instead.”

* * *

You thought you were prepared for this.

You were proven wrong as you laid there watching him sleep peacefully next to you, arm wrapped possessively around your waist, as if he was scared that you would leave. He should be, you were still planning on leaving. You brushed away the hair from his face, whispering to him about how much you loved him as you placed a kiss on his forehead.

Memorising his face as you moved away, you gently lifted his arm from you and got off the bed. You quickly put your clothes on, not wanting to dwell on what happened just a few hours ago but it ultimately couldn’t be helped when you saw the marks that he left on you from the mirror, and felt the soreness between your legs.

_“…then I’m gonna show you instead,” Mark declared before crashing his lips against yours in a desperate kiss._

_Mark kissed you like that was his sole purpose of living. Filled with passion, desperation and love, he kissed you and you kissed him back just as fierce. You never wanted it to go this far but you knew as soon as he lips met yours that you were done for._

_You remembered all the times that you have had to pretend that you weren’t his. That you weren’t who he kissed. That you weren’t who he bed. That you weren’t who he loved. For once you wanted to be selfish. You wanted to worry about yourself and what you wanted. So you did._

_Neither of you wasted any time, quickly stripping off your clothes. Mark reached for you and you jumped, wrapping your legs around his waist as you kissed him. He made his way to your room, gently laying you on the bed._

_He marked your skin, murmured his love for you with each bite before he connected your bodies as one. Mark leaned in close, face close to yours and fingers intertwined as he drove his hips into you. Slowly and sensually, he bared his soul as he made love to you._

_You felt it — felt him, everywhere. You cupped his face and brought him impossibly closer to you, confessing your love for him as he bore his eyes into yours. Your confession brought both of your releases to the surface and you kissed him as you came, wanting to be connected in every way possible._

_“I love you so much,” Mark whispered between each kiss._

_“I love you, too,” you whispered back. “Always remember that.”_

_Mark kissed you again and again. Again until he couldn’t anymore, spent from the amount of times he made love to you that night._

Completely dressed now, you turned back to take one last look at the man that you loved, sleeping soundly on the bed. Approaching carefully, you planted a soft goodbye kiss by his shoulder before placing your note underneath his phone and disappearing off into the night.

* * *

Mark woke, slowly reaching out and finding nothing but the cold and empty sheets beside him. He sat up abruptly, heart hammering in his chest as he tried to take in his surroundings. You had to be there — you just had to be. After everything that happened last night, he didn’t think that this would be the outcome.

He sprung up from the bed, grabbing his boxers on the way, to check every room in your apartment for any sign of you. “Babe?” Mark called out as he checked the ensuite, your walk-in and the kitchen only to find no one there. He spotted the hallway devoided of your luggage and the reality crashed down on him. “No. No. This can’t be happening.”

Mark turned back to your shared bedroom, wanting to grab his phone to call you but he spotted your note. He closed his eyes, willing for the note to disappear and for all of this to be a bad dream but when he opened them and found the piece of paper still there, he knew he had no choice. He sat on the bed before reaching for it with trembling fingers.

_Mark,_

_I want you to know that this wasn’t an easy decision. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, but it had to be done. This is your dream and I don’t want to get in the way of that. I know how much this means to you so that’s why I’m doing this. You don’t have to stay with me anymore. Go out there and achieve everything that you want to without any regrets._

_I will be here, waiting for you to come back when you finish. I will never forget the times that we shared and I hope that you won’t forget me too._

_I love you. Always remember that._

_See you later rockstar._

With tears streaming down his face, Mark hugged the letter close to his chest as he laid back down on the bed. His sobs filled the room and he couldn’t find a way to stop them. Turning to your side of the bed, he buried his nose into your pillow to catch the last of your scent.

Mark took out his phone, looking at his favourite picture of you as his sobs continued to wreck him.

“You were my dream.”


	8. Track #8 Equivalent Exchange

_Three weeks later_

Jaebeom entered Mark’s studio, spotting the guitarist bent over the desk, scribbling on paper. Sporting headphones over his head, Jaebeom already knew that the man in question was working on some lyrics on the melodies he’d composed.

Normally, this would be a great sight, especially considering that this was the first time that Mark had stepped into the studio in weeks but Jaebeom knew better. He hadn’t seen or heard from Mark or you in weeks, only knowing that his friend was alive because of the lyrics that he kept receiving from him.

That was what was worrying him. Jaebeom looked back at the papers in his hands and read through the words that Mark had written down. They were the words of a broken man. It was usually not an issue; they had written plenty of songs about heartbreak before. It was just that this time their next album concept was supposed to be about blooming love.

It reminded Jaebeom of the last conversation he had with you and it looked like his fear had come true. Sighing heavily, he finally approached his friend. “Mark,” Jaebeom tapped him on the shoulder and watched as the other took his headphones off. “We need to talk.”

Mark swiveled his chair to face Jaebeom; face devoid of emotion. “What’s up?”

“What’s going on?”

“Just writing.”

“No, I mean,” Jaebeom sighed, before producing the lyric sheets. “What’s going on?”

“Are they not up to standard?” Mark asked confused.

“They’re fine,” Jaebeom replied, trying his best to be patient. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t suit the concept, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Then what are you talking about?”

_“Her.”_

Mark poked his tongue in his cheek; fuming. “We are not talking about her,” he declared before turning back to face the desk.

“Yes, we are,” Jaebeom challenged. “What is going on between you two?”

“Please, don’t make me talk about it,” Mark pleaded, as he turned back to his friend.

Jaebeom sat on the spare chair in the studio and wheeled himself closer to Mark. Placing his hands on Mark’s shoulders, he squeezed them for reassurance; to let his friend know that he was there for him. “I’m worried about you, man. Talk to me.”

Mark sniffed; close to tears. “There’s nothing to say,” he lied, willing his friend to buy it. “I’m fine, trust me.”

“We’ve been friends for far too long,” Jaebeom sighed. “Tell me what’s going on.”

Mark couldn’t hold it back any longer. “She left me,” he revealed between sobs. “She packed up and left.”

Jaebeom was stunned. You and Mark were meant to be together; both so in love with each other. He didn’t think it was possible that you would ever leave Mark. “What happened?”

Mark told him everything. From the moment they got signed. To the moment his bosses came to see you. To the moment he saw your bags by the hallway. To the last night you had together and the morning after.

“I’ve tried to look for her,” Mark said after his story. “I don’t know where she disappeared off to. I’ve tried calling her but she’s blocked my number. I’ve lost her.”

“You haven’t,” Jaebeom promised. “We’ll figure this out but right now, we need to sort you out first. You have no chance of getting her back if you stay at this state. You need to be stronger so you can fight for her.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Mark sighed.

Jaebeom squeezed his shoulders reassuringly. “You can. You’ve got us. We will get you through this.”

* * *

Months passed and Mark finally started to look like himself again. He was smiling and laughing and no longer locked himself up in the studio or his apartment. He managed to write some amazing songs that suited the concept of their new album — which was another big hit — and now they were on the road again to promote it.

Mark performed with vigour; interacting with fans while on stage. He did his bit after the shows and made longer appearances when needed. He did all of this with no complaints and with the biggest smile on his face. He’d finally moving forward.

_So everyone thought._

The truth was that Mark just got better at _pretending_. Pretending that his heart didn’t break every time he stepped into his home; with its walls devoid of your presence. Pretending that he didn’t cry himself to sleep every night as he faced the side of your bed that was cold and empty.

Mark pretended to be happy, so that he could write the lyrics he needed and not let his friends down. Pretended to be happy on stage even though he spent most of the time scanning the crowd for your face. Pretended to be happy as he interacted with his fans, even though he wanted to curse them at times, blaming them for your departure.

Deep down he knew the truth; if anyone was to blame, it was him. This was the price of his dream.

* * *

Just like every night, Mark came home; heading straight to the shower where his nightly sobs began. It had been months and he still had tears left to cry. Standing there with the water cascading down his body, he cried and wondered how much longer he could keep this up.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he opened his bedside drawer; taking out the frame that held his favourite picture of the two of you together. His sobbed wracked his body as his fingers grazed over your picture. His whole existence ached for you, begging for you to come back and make him whole.

Mark grabbed his phone, wanting to ring you like he did every night even though it went straight to voicemail, just so he could hear your voice. As his screen lit up, he noticed the date and realised that tomorrow would have been your first anniversary together. Sobbing impossibly harder, he dialed your number; smiling sadly at the memory of the time you recorded it.

_“Hey, you’ve reached my voicemail which means I’m busy, probably hanging out with the love of my life hahaha Mark, stop it! I’m trying to record my voicemail. Anyway, leave all your details after the beep and I will call you back later. If you’re desperate, call Mark. I’m always with him. Yeah, sucked in you little shit. Have fun with all my phone calls now. Anyway, here’s the beep!”_

Mark took a deep breath before leaving his nth message to you.

“Baby, I miss you. Please, come back. I can’t do this without you. I love you. Come back…”

He cried himself to sleep like he always did, praying to have the strength to pretend again tomorrow.


	9. Track #9 Hard Times

Mark sighed for the nth time that day. Groaning, he scribbled angrily over the useless words he’d written on the paper. He crumpled it roughly, tossing it behind his back to join the hundreds of strewn paper on the floor. Running his hand through his hair, he grabbed a handful and yanked, trying to get himself out of this daze.

“Get it together,” he pleaded with himself, before wheeling his chair to the other side of the studio where his white guitar sat. Grabbing the instrument, he sat it on his lap. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to relax himself before letting the melody come to him.

A whole hour passed and he had nothing. The room was void of sound and his music sheet void of notes. It had been like that for hours. For days. For weeks.

That could only mean one thing. _Writer’s Block_.

“No, that can’t be it,” Mark tried to convince himself. “_Get it together_. This is all you have now. You can’t lose this, too. How would she come back without this?”

Placing his guitar back on its stand, he slid down to the floor, worriedly grabbing at all the crumpled papers around him.

_This was it. He finally hit rock bottom._

* * *

Mark jolted awake when he felt a firm hand squeeze his shoulder. Blinking his eyes slowly to adjust to the lighting of the room, he found himself staring at Jinyoung’s face. Startled, Mark sat up abruptly. His eyes roamed around the room, spotting his other band members sitting by his table.

“We’re just here to check on you,” Jinyoung announced gently before making a move to sit with the band across from Mark. “We’re a little worried.”

“I’m fine,” Mark lied through his teeth. “I just fell asleep, that’s all.”

“How bad is it?” Jaebeom prodded, not buying his friend’s lie.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jaebeom. I’m fine.”

“We already know,” Jinyoung smiled sadly at him. “We’ve known from the beginning. We chose to leave you be, trusting you to figure it out but you’re only getting worse.”

Mark knew there was nowhere to hide now. “It’s really bad,” he finally revealed. “I can’t even form coherent lyrics. Then when I pick up my guitar, there’s nothing. Not a single note comes to me. All I hear is her telling me that she’s leaving me. Over and over again.”

“Have you tried meditating?” BamBam asked, knowing that this was something Mark would usually do to gain his concentration back.

“Yeah it doesn’t work,” Mark sighed.

“Watching a mo—”

“Yep.”

“Listening to mus—”

“Yep.”

“Reading a book—”

“Yep,” Mark resigned. “I have tried everything but nothing works. She’s everything I think about. Everything I hear. Everything I see.”

Jaebeom sighed, “you need to have a break.”

Mark laughed dryly. “A break?” he scoffed. “Those idiots wouldn’t allow that. We’ve just gotten back from tour and they already want a new album and—”

“Jaebeom’s right,” Jinyoung implored. “You can’t keep going like this. When she comes back do you think this is what she’d like to see?”

Leaning his elbows on his legs, he held his head in his hands. “I don’t want to let you guys down,” Mark said sadly. “I already let her down. I don’t want to do that to you guys too.”

“You’ve let no one down,” Jaebeom told him. “Not her. Not us. Let us help you through this. You’ve tried doing it by yourself and it hasn’t helped. Let us in.”

Leaning back on the couch, Mark looked up to the ceiling. He knew all of them were right. He couldn’t keep going like this. “Okay,” he smiled.

“Good. Let’s go have dinner,” Jinyoung suggested. “You can let it all out and—”

“Actually,” Jaebeom interrupted, with his phone in hand. “That has to wait. We’ve been summoned to the company.”

* * *

Mark knew there was a reason that he didn’t feel right about signing with this company. It wasn’t just about you; he already had a gut feeling before you were even brought up. Sitting across from them in the office, Mark was finally proven right.

“I already told you that we didn’t need a new guitarist,” Jaebeom said exasperated.

“I don’t know if you remember,” one of them sneered. “We’re the boss here. We get to tell you what to do and not the other way around.”

“What did I do this time?” Mark challenged them.

“What haven’t you done? You never attended the after parties. You’re slack on stage. You don’t interact with the fans anymore. Hell, you can’t even write an album anymore. I thought that girl leaving you would do you some good but—”

“Keep her out of your filthy mouth,” Mark growled at them, held back by Jaebeom and Jinyoung. “You made her leave and—”

“We didn’t make her do anything,” another huffed. “She probably left because she realised you were useless to her, just like you are to us.”

That struck a chord with Mark. His body went limp, sliding back into his chair as he felt like he’d been slapped in the face. _Wa__s this true? Was that really why you left him?_

“Don’t listen to them,” Jinyoung whispered in his ear. “She’s not like that and you know it. You are her world.”

“But, she left,” Mark said in a small voice. “I don’t know why she would leave.”

“She thought she was doing you a favour,” Jinyoung reminded him gently.

The CEO of the company stood and sighed before addressing Mark. “Look, this is how it’s going to be. You either quit the band and we replace you or we fire the whole band and blacklist you with all the major companies. No one will hire you and you’d never make it big again.”

Mark clenched his fist and gritted his teeth. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. As much as he’d love to leave this godforsaken company, he knew the band wouldn’t let that happen. He also didn’t want that to happen because the band was like his family. He couldn’t leave them.

Though if he didn’t leave then the whole band would suffer and all this heartbreak would have been for nothing. How would he find you when that happens? How could he face you?

“You have three days to decide.”

Three days. As if that was enough time for him to decide. As if that was enough time to undo everything that had gone wrong.

He had no idea which path to choose. All he knew was that it was time to make things right.


	10. Track #10 Clear Winner

Mark looked at the picture of you by his bedside table, conflict deep in his heart.

The first day came and went without a decision. So did the second. The third day was almost at a close and he still hadn’t decided what to do. He was supposed to meet the band in two hours, their fate in his hands, yet he didn’t have the answers.

Grabbing the frame, he ran his thumb across your face. “What should I do?” he asked, even though he already knew what you would say. _Follow your heart_, you would tell him.

_How could he do that when his heart was with you?_

Scrolling through the pictures on his phone, he found one of the two of you from the fateful night you met. He remembered the conversation you had then.

* * *

_“So you’re a rockstar, huh?” you smirked and sat next to him by the bar after his set, just like he requested._

_Mark smirked back. “Not even close,” he countered as he sipped his drink. “I’m a mere guitarist who plays in lowly bars. Far from being rich and famous.”_

_“As long as you can buy me a drink, I have no complaints.”_

_Mark gestured to Yugyeom who handed you a drink. “Well, you did come to meet me and I do owe you a drink.” He watched as you downed the alcohol, eyes gazing from your lips down to your neck to the top of your chest that peeked through his shirt. “You look good in my shirt by the way.”_

_“Mark, are you flirting with me?” you teased, giggling as he blushed. “You don’t even know my name.”_

_“As a matter of fact, I do.” he revealed, your name slipping from his lips. “Jaebeom told me.”_

_“What did it cost you?”_

_Mark smiled and downed the drink in his hand. “Just a few more love songs for the next album,” he answered with a wink and you playfully shoved him._

_The next few hours were spent getting to know each other. Day jobs. Likes. Dislikes. Hobbies. How he got into music and how the band was conceived. Failures. Dreams. Mark had told you about how the dream was to make it big but all they’ve had are knock backs from recording companies._

_“Why don’t you just do it on your own?” you asked curiously._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Do you need to get signed by a company? Why don’t you just keep doing what you’re doing? You guys are crazy talented and your songs are catchy as fuck. You already have a small fanbase. You just need to keep doing more shows to get more exposure and I’m sure you guys will make it in no time.”_

_“That sounds like the dream,” Mark smiled thoughtfully and you grabbed his hand, squeezing in reassurance._

_“It doesn’t have to be,” you smiled back. “You can make it your reality. The people that came to see you today already believe in you. You just have to believe in yourself.”_

_“What about you?” Mark questioned, heart hammering away in his chest. “Do you believe in me?”_

_You looked away from his face and glanced down on your joined hands instead. “Crazily enough, yes. The songs you wrote, I felt them. In my soul. I just met you but yes, I believe in you.”_

_Mark’s heart was beating so loud that he was sure that the whole bar heard it. His chest was heaving, finding it hard to breathe. Were you really the one he had been looking for all his life? Was he really lucky enough to have met you tonight? He didn’t know but he wanted to find out._

_“Do you want to get out of here?” Mark gulped nervously._

_You looked at him and hesitated, even though your heart had been screaming your answer before he had even finished his question. “Yes.”_

Coming back to reality, he knew what he had to do.

* * *

Mark arrived at Jackson’s, finding the other band members already sitting by the bar. The place was closed tonight since Jackson wanted them to have some privacy as they discussed the most important decision of their careers.

“Have you decided?” Jaebeom asked and Mark nodded. “Good. We made a decision too but we’ll hear yours first.”

Mark took a deep breath, downing a glass of whiskey Jackson passed to him. “I apologise in advance, if this decision is not what you want to hear,” he sighed. “I’m not leaving the band. I don’t want to. You guys are my family. We all made the decision to start this together and we have gone through all of the highs and lows together. It is only fitting that we end it together too.”

Jinyoung raised a brow at him. “You know what that means right?”

“We get blacklisted.” Mark confirmed. “So what? In all honesty, we don’t need them. We never needed them. Sure, it helped kick start our careers but that was going to happen to us eventually because I believe that we can do this. I believe in us.”

Jaebeom smiled, shaking his head at him. “I knew you would make the right decision.”

“Wait, you guys agree with me?” Mark asked in disbelief and they all nodded. “Even if we get blacklisted?”

Jaebeom nodded again. “It’s just like you said. Our success is going to come anyway because we continue to work for it. That’s why we already spoke with the company and told them to shove it.”

“You didn’t.” Mark laughed.

“We did,” Jinyoung confirmed. “When you walked out of that meeting three days ago, we all told them to fuck off.”

“The very same day?”

“Yes.”

Jaebeom stood, walking over to Mark to give him a hug. “I know you got that from her,” Jaebeom told him. “She said the same thing to me once. She’s really special, huh?”

“She is,” Mark smiled sadly.

“Well, we have the band back to the way it was. What do you say about working on some songs to get that special someone back?”

“Do you think it would work?” Mark tried not to sound too hopeful but it didn’t work.

“She believes in you.” Jaebeom reminded him.

You believed in him. He’d be damned if he let that go to waste.


	11. Track #11 The Do Over

Mark stood in front of his studio door but didn’t enter. He did anything but, choosing to study the edges and the ridges of the door instead. The last time he was in a studio was when he hit rock bottom and he wasn’t sure he could go through that again.

_It’s different this time_, he told himself. Things had started to look up in his life and this was the last step left. The last step he needed to get you back in his life.

He wondered if he could do it. He wondered if it was possible or whether it was too hard to even attempt. He thought back to the past couple of weeks and what he’d accomplished and maybe, just maybe, he could do it.

* * *

After that night at Jackson’s, the next few weeks were the busiest Mark had ever been.

They met up again at the bar the very next day and did a livestream on their YouTube page letting their fans know about what had transpired between the band and the company and why they left. They opted for honesty, knowing that the fans appreciated that more than anything.

So they told them everything from the start. How the friends met each other. How the band came to be. How the band got signed and all the things that went wrong. Most importantly, Mark told them about you.

From how you met to how your love blossomed. To everything you had done for him. Everything you had to sacrifice. He told them everything. Not in the hopes of getting sympathy from his fans but he was tired of lying. Tired of hiding you.

The next thing the band did was get their finances together to see where they were sitting. Once they combined everything, they luckily had enough to set up their own label so that was what they did. They bought themselves a small building and turned it into their record company along with their own recording studio.

Everything was finally looking up. They were happier.

Mark was happier.

* * *

“You know you actually have to turn the knob to get in there,” Jinyoung’s familiar voice spoke from behind him. “Unless you were just planning on standing there all day then by all means, carry on.”

“Do you always have to be so savage?” Mark laughed as he turned to see his friend.

“It’s not like you’d have me any other way,” Jinyoung scoffed. “So what’s the hold up?”

Mark sighed, leaning his head back on the door as he explained. “I just remembered the last time that I was in a studio, you know? It wasn’t a great experience.”

“Yeah, but we’ve all come out stronger for that. Now, tell me what’s really bothering you.” Just like Jaebeom, Jinyoung was one of Mark’s oldest friends and always knew when he was hiding something.

“I saw _her_,” Mark revealed in a whisper.

“You saw her?” Jinyoung asked confused.

“Yeah, yesterday afternoon at the coffee shop by Barnes Street,” Mark sighed wistfully. “I was about to cross the road to go in there and she walked out with a friend or something.”

“Are you sure it was her?” Jinyoung questioned and Mark glared at him.

“You really think I wouldn’t recognise the love of my life?”

“Geez, I was only asking,” Jinyoung huffed. “So, what did you say to her?”

“Nothing.”

_“What do you mean nothing?”_

Mark banged his head back on the door to show his frustration. “Exactly that. I didn’t do anything. I was too dumbstruck on the other side of the street and then she was gone.”

Jinyoung hit him on the arm. “How could you just let her go again?”

“I… It’s not like I wanted to,” Mark answered sheepishly. “It’s just — she looked really happy. So, I started to think that maybe she’s better off without me.”

Jinyoung finally figured it out. “Ah, that’s why you still haven’t entered your studio. You think she’s better and happier without you. I get it now.”

Mark smiled and shook his head, “and what do you think?”

“I think you’re an idiot,” Jinyoung scoffed and Mark glared at him again as he asked for an explanation. “Did it ever cross your mind that maybe she was pretending just like you were? Did her smile reach her eyes? Did she look happier than when she was with you?”

Mark thought back to the day before. He remembered your friend offering you a comforting hug goodbye, rubbing your arms in reassurance as you offered a small smile back. Jinyoung was right. You could be just pretending. Just like he was. He stood up then, determination evident in his features.

“I’m going to write this song,” he declared, offering a hand up to Jinyoung to help him stand.

Jinyoung smirked, “you owe me.”

“I owe you.”

* * *

You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe that Mark was right there, across the road. Walking there in all his glory. He looked… happy. Why wouldn’t he be? The last you heard, his band was still making it big and touring around the country,

You tried so hard not to look him up but you couldn’t help it. You missed him. So you’d logged onto YouTube and watched all the videos that the fans put up, and you almost wished you hadn’t. He was in his element. Smiling and interacting with the fans. Performing like you never saw him do before.

Then it hit you. You _were_ holding him back. You stopped looking him up after that and that was months ago.

You apologised to your friend, telling her you had to cut your coffee catch up short. The tears were threatening to come out and you were sure you wouldn’t be able to hold them at bay. You bid her a quick farewell and turned on your heels to head home.

You didn’t want to see him be happy without you anymore. You didn’t want to know that he was happy without you anymore.

In your haste, you missed him spotting you from across the street. You missed him opening his mouth to try and call out to you. You missed him staring at your figure longingly as you walked away.

You missed him.


	12. Track #12 Love Song

_Three weeks later - Present Day_

Mark stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his outfit for the show. He sighed as he tucked and untucked his shirt for the nth time before throwing his hands up in defeat and throwing himself on the couch. Restless, he sat up, carding his hands through his hair before going back to stand in front of the mirror.

“Okay, I can do this,” he nodded at his reflection in reassurance. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves before practising his speech. “Hey guys, it’s Mark. This is uhh— this is a song that I uhh— goddamn it.”

Mark paced the room, trying to remember the introduction to the song he was singing tonight. Your song. He didn’t understand why the words were so hard to remember now, when he could recite them in his sleep the other nights before. Actually, he knew why. It was because of _you_.

Groans and curses filled the dressing room as he continued to practice. He messed up for what felt like the hundredth time before he started hitting his head on the wall. “Why is this so hard?” he whined between hits.

“You’re overthinking it,” Jaebeom clapped him on the shoulder, before pulling him away from the wall. “Stop doing this. It’s going to be fine.”

“How do you know?” Mark questioned him. “She might not even be out there and this would all be a waste of time.”

“It’s not a waste of time,” Jaebeom smiled patiently, happy that his friend was nervous because it also meant that he was hopeful. “She’s there.”

“Did you see her?”

“No, but I know she’s there,” Jaebeom assured him, before grabbing his arm to lead him out of the dressing room. “The show is about to start. You can do this. We believe in you. She believes in you.”

Mark nodded as he approached the backstage. The venue was buzzing with the crowd and it drowned out all his doubts. The lights in the hall dimmed and the spotlight turned on, illuminating the stage. The screams from the crowd were almost deafening.

Jaebeom gathered them in a huddle. “This is our first show back since we restarted,” he told them. “Let’s do a good job, yeah? Let’s do it like we always do. Mark, you got this.”

Mark nodded. “Let’s go.”

* * *

_A Week Before_

Your whines filled the room as you tossed and turned, restless on your bed. You had been trying to fall asleep for hours but were unsuccessful because your mind was too busy. Frustrated, you buried your face in your pillow to scream your stress into it, hoping it would help. Alas, it didn’t.

You’d been like this since the day you almost bumped into Mark at the cafe. You couldn’t get him out of your mind. He was everywhere you looked. Everything you heard. Everything you thought about. Everything you felt.

You knew what the problem was though. _Curiosity_. Now that you’d seen him, you just had to know about him. You _needed_ to know. What he had been doing. What he had been thinking. What he had been feeling.

Perhaps you just needed one question answered. The most important question of all. _Wa__s he happier without you?_

You finally caved in; grabbing your phone from the nightstand and going straight to their media page. You promised yourself that this would be the last time, that no matter what happened you would accept your fate.

Their page was emptier that the last time you visited, with only two announcement videos on there. You clicked on the first one and it was about their decision to start anew. Covering your mouth with your hands, your eyes widened as you watched. You reached the part when Mark talked about your relationship and you couldn’t help the tears that streamed down your face.

It was a different experience to hear about how he saw you and how he felt about you. You laughed at the way you tried to convince yourself that he was happy without you just so you could strengthen your resolve to stay away from him. You knew now that it didn’t work.

You were scared to watch the next video, knowing that it was about you. Mark titled the video _’my letter to you_’. You spent the next few minutes trying to talk yourself out of it but ultimately your heart won out, so you clicked on the video.

_“Hey baby, it’s me. It’s Mark. Of course you know it’s me. What am I thinking? Gosh, why is this so hard? Haha okay, okay. I can do this. I got this. Listen, I miss you. So fucking much. Like you wouldn’t believe. It’s… I really miss you. I know why you did what you did, but baby, it’s time to come back home. It’s no surprise to anyone that I still love you. I love you. I haven’t stopped and I would never. I saw you the other day at the coffee shop. It was so hard not to cross that street and gather you in my arms, but I let you walk away. Now I don’t plan on doing that again. Ever. You are it for me. So, if you feel the same as I do, please come and meet me at The Podium on Saturday. There’s something I’d like to say to you. Please.”_

You didn’t think you had cried like this since the first night you left him. As you watched the video again, you noticed that he looked thinner, his cheeks sunken in. He had dark circles around his eyes and his smile barely reached his eyes. _How could you do this to him?_

Saturday. That was a week away. A whole week to decide if you should come home. As much as you wanted to — your heart craving him as much as his craved you — did you deserve it? Did you deserve happiness after what you’d done to him?

* * *

_Present Day_

The band went backstage, taking a quick intermission before performing the second half of their set. Jaebeom approached Mark to check up on him. “You good?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Mark replied as he chugged down some water.

“You ready for the song?”

Mark laughed, “as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Good,” Jaebeom clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m glad you’re ready.”

“Why’s that?” Mark asked curiously.

“She’s here.”


	13. Track #13 How You Get The Girl

_She’s here._

“She’s here?” Mark asked nervously.

“She is.”

“Are you sure?” Mark asked again.

“I am.”

“How—”

“I saw her,” Jaebeom chuckled at his friend. “Trust me. She’s here. In the red number she wore last Christmas.”

The red dress. His favourite. You were here, wearing his favourite dress on you. _That’s a good sign right?_

“Come on,” Jaebeom beckoned him. “We’re due back on stage and it’s time for them — for _her_ — to hear your song.”

Mark walked anxiously up the stage, not daring to look at the crowd. Staring at his white guitar, he gathered all the strength it provided him before picking it up and slinging it on his body. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he finally turned to face the audience.

Eyes scanning the crowd, his breath hitched as he spotted you near the back, standing there in all your glory. You were just as beautiful as the first night he saw you. It almost didn’t seem real that you were there. Until you raised your hand to wave at him.

Mark waved back shyly then headed over to his microphone. “Hey guys, it’s Mark.” he greeted and the crowd screamed but he didn’t falter, eyes trained on you. “The next song we’re going to sing, is one that I wrote. For the love of my life. Thank you for being here. This song is for you.”

* * *

Your heart was beating so fast, you were sure that it was going to beat right out of your chest.

Seeing him on stage staring directly at you as he sang your song was truly a feeling you would never forget. Tears threatened to fall as you let his words sink into your bones. How much he missed you. How much he still wanted you. _How much he still loved you._

You watched as he sang his heart out, willing for you to trust his words and you did. Though with every word, your heart broke knowing that you did this. That you caused all of this pain. Suddenly, it was all suffocating. You couldn’t breathe. With a shake of your head, you left.

You didn’t hear Mark stop singing. You didn’t see him hand his guitar to Jaebeom to head off backstage. You didn’t see him sprinting down the hallways looking for you. You didn’t know much of anything until you felt familiar arms wrap around you and a strong sturdy chest on your back.

“_Mark…_” you whispered uncertainly even though you knew that it was him. “I—”

“Why are you leaving?” he asked from behind you, head leaning on your shoulder. “You came, which means you still love me. Holding you in my arms right now, I can feel that you still love me. So why are you leaving?”

“I don’t deserve—”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Mark exclaimed before turning you around to face him and cupping your face. “I don’t give a shit if you don’t deserve me. You have me. You always will.”

You shook your head at him and tried to move away but his hold on you was secure. You weren't going anywhere. “How can you say that? After what I did to you? What I did to us?”

“You did what you thought was best at the time,” Mark answered confidently. “Sure it hurt and it sucked big time, but you did it because you thought it would help. You thought it would make things easier for me. You always had my best interest at heart. I would never hold that against you.”

“Mark… what if—”

“Enough.” he pleaded with you. “Stop letting your doubts win. I love you and you love me. That’s all that matters. I’ll be damned to let you go again.”

Mark pulled you in, taking your breath away when he crashed his lips against yours. He kissed you like he’d never kissed you before. He kissed you like his life depended on it.

When you finally responded and kissed him back, it was like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. His whole body relaxed knowing that you were his. _Again_. He wrapped his arm around your middle to bring you impossibly closer to him, just to remind himself that this was real.

“I’m so sorry,” you breathed out as you pulled away for air, before joining your lips again. “I’m so fucking sorry. I—”

“Hush,” Mark kissed your forehead. Your eyelids. Your cheeks. Your nose. Your mouth. “There’s no need for apologies. Just promise me you’ll stay. Promise to continue loving me.”

“I promise,” you vowed, leaning your forehead on his. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere. Not anymore.”

Mark moved to cup your face, joining your lips together again in a fiery kiss that sent you reeling. You could only hang onto him as he backed you into a wall. He groaned as you pulled him closer to you and his tongue entered your mouth after you moaned when he grinded into you.

Mark’s kisses ventured south, his lips gliding along your jaw then down your neck. You turned your head to the side to give him better access and that was when you spotted someone approaching.

“Mark, you need to stop,” you whispered, trying to push him away from you to no avail. Mark pushed himself even closer, thinking that you were trying to leave him again. “Jinyoung can see us!”

Mark finally took in your words and halted his movements, slowly raising his head from your neck but choosing not to look away from you. “Jinyoung,” he sighed. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been sent to see what was taking so long for you to come back,” Jinyoung chuckled. “Now we know why. It’s nice to you see you again, love. I’m sorry to interrupt but we still have a show to finish.”

You could see the protest about to leave Mark’s lips so you brought him in for a chaste kiss. “Let’s do things differently this time,” you urged him. “Go and finish your show. You owe your fans that. Do everything you have to do and I will wait for you at home.”

Mark smiled, already loving the idea. “Okay. Let’s do this differently.”

_He couldn’t wait to see what the future brings._


End file.
